I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
