Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
