just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
