do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
