This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
