It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize