I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
