We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
