I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
