it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
