Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
