I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
