I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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