she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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