I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
