Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
