I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drunk is a universal language darling
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
