I smell stomach acid.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
