She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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