So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
