I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
