I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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