guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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