i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
