Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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