Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
