Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
