Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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