R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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