its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
