I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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