She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
