It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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