well most of my day revolves around power hour
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
