I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
