Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
