Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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