So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
