oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
