# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
