Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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