Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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