I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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