If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
