Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
