is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
