All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
