So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
