We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
