I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
