I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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