But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
