that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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